So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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