I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
