I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They took my balls.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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