did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
