i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
