I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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