Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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