You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize