Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
