He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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