Pappa wants mamma naked
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
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