what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
