Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
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