We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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