guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
