just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
