Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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