last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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