so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
