I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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