Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
