YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
