i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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