wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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