I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
