Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
