This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize