would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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