WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
