But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
