I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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