I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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