ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's on the porch naked. Help.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
