I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
