id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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