she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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