If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize