She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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