Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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