Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
