so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
