Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
