How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
