I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
