I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
