And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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