Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
