good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
