The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
