Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Farmville is her only friend.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize