it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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