I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
