Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
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