So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
