I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
and you fell through a lawn chair
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
