Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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