sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
