Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
being pregnant is like rehab
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
